Thursday, January 26, 2006


Jazzy made a post a few days ago regarding marriage. More specifically, same sex marriage. She's not for it.

The first thing that comes to mind is why does anyone care? Why is this an issue? Now, my being an non-believer, the issue of "marriage" in the religious sense is of little importance to me. As to the "legal" status of same sex couples, it's just not anyone's business. Certainly not the state's.

When people (or a cat) state that the proper home for a child has a mother and father, a woman and a man, and that 2 women or 2 men cannot provide a proper home is just too broad a statement. And often incorrect.

I know a few same sex couples. One of these couples, 2 men, has a daughter. I suppose she's about 8 or 9 by now. Both of these men are well educated. They both hold positions of responsibility in highly visible organizations in Indianapolis. They are, to say the least, doting parents. Their daughter, by any measure I can muster, appears to be very happy and well adjusted. As I understand, she does well in school and has a number of friends. Any problems she has or may encounter owing to her situation at home are more likely to come from without than from within.

What is significant about the above is that it is not a unique situation. Most same sex couples have proven to be at least average, and in many cases well above average parents. I suppose it at least sometimes may be owing to their understanding of the situation as regards the adverse opinions they and their children may encounter from society at large. People of all ages can be, and often are, quite cruel. There are far more examples of abuse and neglect of children of hetero couples.

But Jazzy insists on citing biblical passages to support male/female marriages. I kind of go crazy with that as I think that the bible is irrevelant.

Why do people of faith feel compelled to get involved in other people's private lives? Religious faith, or the lack of it is in my mind a totally personal thing. Each of us has a natural right to make choices about who we love, who we live with, and with whom we chose to couple. How do the sexual proclivities of one person affect anyone else? Again, I believe that it has little to do with altruism. It has nothing to do with concern for the souls of people who choose to go their own way. It has to do with fear. Allowing such behavior in others might reflect badly on the faithful. It may hurt their chances of getting through the pearly gates. I find it difficult to believe otherwise as the response to homosexuality is so often angry and hateful. It is wrong minded to believe that gays are misguided or mentally ill. Hey, if god exists, and he/she/it doesn't like homosexuality, let him/her/it deal with it.

I am not gay. I can't say that I understand the nature of homosexuality. But, I do not believe for a moment that being "gay" is an illness or that it is born of evil. It is simply people who love each other. For whatever reasons, they find fulfillment and/or happiness in relationships, sexual or otherwise, with people of the same sex. I am probably oversimplifying all this, and, perhaps, missing the mark. Someone who is gay could write this much better than I. Suffice it to say, that I believe that anyone should have the right to create a legal and, if it is important to them, a spiritual union with each other. Again, if you don't like the notion of having an intimate relationship with anyone of the same sex, don't have one.



jazzycat said...

I am not alone in being opposed to same sex marriage as all eleven states that had it on the ballot in 2004 voted to ban it.

The logical extension of your second paragraph would be that marriage would be so loosely defined that polygamy, marriage between immediate family members, etc. would all be allowed. I am always amazed at how many, that are opposed to the state being involved in setting marriage standards, have no problem and in fact supports the state removing massive freedoms in mandating other crucial aspects of peoples lives such as health care (Clinton Health care plan). Should the state be involved in hunting license, drivers license, parking restrictions, etc., etc?

The religious left (yes it exists) supports same-sex marriage. Conservative Christians do oppose it and have every right as citizens to vote, march, write letters to editors, political leaders, and in short organize and be activists just like the left has done on issues for years. Make no mistake, policies based on religious beliefs have just as much right to be advocated in the public square as policies based on Marxism, environmentalism or any other ‘ism’.

While there may be anger and hatefulness from some on the subject, this accusation does not make dissenters bigots. I have seen about ten times as much hatefulness and anger toward our President as I have seen toward same-sex marriage advocates.

Final point: All opposition to same-sex marriage is not religious based as I was opposed before I became a Christian about ten years ago.

The foggy lake photo is really nice with the cables in the foreground. As you know, I love photography. Take care and I also wish the best for your friend Susie. I will remember her in my prayers.

Terry S said...


I won't further the discussio today. My neighbor, Susie, died this AM.

The photo was taken by my older son in while aboard a boat taking he and his girlfriend to Corsica. I believe the water is Mediterranean.

noell said...

I prefer to use the Golden Rule when it comes to whether or not to allow gays to marry. Would I like to have my relationship with the person I love legally binding? Yes. Would I like to have all the same legal benefits that other hetero-couples have? Yes. The Golden Rule dictates to me to allow for them to be married, or at the very least to have a civil union.

As for gay couples having children. I do believe that a child needs both a male and female parent for the fullest benefit. I wonder if gay couples represent both gender qualities because of their nature? It will be wise for us to study this, to find if children raised by gay couples are disadvantaged. From what I have read, studies so far are not revealing any differences. It seems too new of a subject to be conclusive, though.

Scientific research on this subject is the only right or fair way for a society to judge it and make laws on it. Laws should not be based on a religious book.

Terry S said...


Thanks for dropping by.

What I believe is important about parenting is participation and concern. I don't believe that the gender of parents is of any particular importance. Most religions presume that same sex unions are inherently evil. How many children have been abused or neglected by one or both parents in heterosexual relationships? I'm not foolish enough to assume that all same sex parents are good parents. I realize that the norms of society can put additional pressures on children of same sex parents. But, again, as I stated, that is a problem from without, not within the relationship.

I have known several homosexuals over the years. I was a theatre major in college and studied acting in NYC for a couple of years. In addition as both of my sons have been active in theatre, music and literature, they have a number of gay and lesbian acquaintances. Most have been highly intelligent and in most respects good, responsible people.
The above sounds quite presumptuous of me, and I feel awkward writing it, but I don't know how else to say this.

One of the guys in the theatre department of Indiana University while I was enrolled there was Howard Ashman. He was gay. I don't know if the name rings a bell for you, but Howard wrote the musical Little Shop of Horrors, and later worked for Disney and wrote the lyrics for the music in The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and contributed a little to Aladdin. Howard was a great and talented man. He was witty and engaging.
Howard died of AIDS several years ago.

If people are to be judged as parents, the final tally should be taken with an assessment of what kind of people their children grow up to be.