Monday, December 25, 2006


To all of my hundreds, nay thousands of loyal readers: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HO HO HO!

Remember that Christ, or somebody like Christ, or a number of somebodies like Christ was born on Christmas day, or sometime there abouts - it was said to be cold at any rate. Did Joseph and Mary know it was Christmas day? Did they get their shopping done? Did they make it to the Bethlehem Mall before all the stores closed? Did they encounter a lot of holiday travelers on the way to Bethlehem? Did they have any trouble getting through security? Did they get any free "donkey" miles? (Hey, I could have written "ass" miles, but I didn't.)

We know the reservations got screwed up at the inn. Did they get a coupon for a free stay at any other inns or at least free use of the day spa? They darn well should have. A mud bath would probably feel great after several hours of labor. Did the concierge find them a midwife? Did they have to pay extra for the swaddling clothes? Did the management demand to see their marriage license? How did they sign the register? Did Joseph dutifully stay in the manger getting hot water and towels, or could he have been found wiling away the hours in the inn lounge putting back a few vodka stingers?
Did they set out some milk and cookies for Santa?
Did they hang around Bethlehem to celebrate New Years? Did they give Jesus a sparkler?
All these questions, so few answers.

I'm a nasty SOB. But Merry Christmas anyhow.


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